1、毕业多年,参加个同学的婚礼
平时这个同学挺2的,婚礼上主持人对他说请你用古典的礼仪拜见一下你的岳父
他上去单膝跪地,曰:"岳父大人在上，小弟有礼了."

2、老爸退休，闲来无事在家QQ视频斗地主，某天，老爸被两个人合起来欺负，嘴里骂着街，但又不会打字，急的一声汗。
我在旁边看着偷笑。突然，老爸起身，拿A4纸在上面写个大大的“傻B”，挂在摄像头前，继续和那两人打牌。

3、儿子：“爸爸，今天老师教我们了万有引力定律。”
爸爸：“好，学的不错！近来可是大有进步啊”
儿子：“可是我想学牛顿那样做一下这个试验。”
爸爸：“真的？有什么需要我帮助的吗？”
儿子：“我需要一个大苹果。”

4、有一个母亲在纸上写了一个很大的“妈”字，问小儿子：“宝宝，这个字念什么？”孩子看了半天也不认识。
母亲说：“你想想我管你奶奶叫什么着？”
孩子一拍脑袋说：“哦！知道了，叫老不死的！”

还是自己顶顶好```

没人?

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